SHOP THE POST
Photography by Kaye Ford
//Top H+M (Similar here and here) // Trousers ASOS // Shoes ASOS //Bag Gucci //
Oh 2017, I won't lie to you, you've been a toughie.
From losing family members and boyfriends in the space of a couple of days, to finally dealing with the aftermath of being in a physically abusive relationship and what it did to my mental health, 2017 was the year when I caught up with myself, I slowed down, and I dealt with my shit. I'm entering the last month of this year feeling like a new woman. I feel more self assured, confident and motivated than I ever have, and y'know what? It feels really damn good.
Hannah Gale always makes these posts a regular and I just think it's a really bloody nice idea, to look back, reflect and think about all the things this year that have made me feel warm and fuzzy. So let's give it a whirl eh?
Moving Back to London
Okay so this wasn't really a choice, this was something that was kind of flung at me because lol I got dumped, but woo here we are. Moving back to London was a conflict of sorts for me. London is an amazing, incredible city and as the place I grew up it's very close to my heart. But also, it's the place I grew up, it may be the creative hub of the world, but it's also full of a lot of memories I would rather forget, you know like the first time I got off my face on Blue WKD on Clapham Common and a boy in the skater park told me I'd never get a boyfriend because I had a unibrow. Or the time I walked outside a boy's house 12 times in the space of one day and came up with excuses like 'My friend Lizzie dropped a buckle on this road and that's why I'm here' and really just an abundance of awkward teenage memories like the awful fake tan incident of 2011 or the time I tried to dye my hair pillarbox red and got bleach in my eye. Coming back home after starting my life anew in another country was always going to be hard, but it's 100% the best decision I could have made for myself.
Moving into a snazzy little South London Flat
I'll be real for a hot minute, when it came to deciding where I was going live in London (IF I was going to stay in London!?) south west London was probably not the top of my list, pretty much for all the reasons I mentioned above. TOO MANY DRUNKEN MEMORIES FOR A GAL TO COPE WITH - ya feel me? But the more I found myself fitting into London, the more I found that well, times had changed and South London was now really blooming cool. Every trendy pop up I heard of, every new bar that I was dying to go to, every restaurant where I kinda thought - "Ooh I need that in my belly immediately" was south of the river, so all in all it was the most logical place for me to end up. I was lucky enough to nab a bargain of a little flat (well as much of a bargain as you can have in London lolz) and immediately made an offer after a very excitable "Should we?? Shouldn't we??? breakfast with my best friend where we ordered everything with a side of hash browns because we both know I'm all about that life. One week later, we moved in and it's somewhere I'm so over the moon to call my little home.
Edinburgh Fringe Festival
So I'm finding it really hard to believe I hadn't done Fringe before, because it was without a doubt one of the most fun few days of my 2017. I rented out a flat in Edinburgh with three other bloggers and we enjoyed a few blissful days of getting way too drunk, embarrassing ourselves infront of Comedians, seeing some top notch shows and just generally loving life. It was about one month post breakup for me, and it was honestly the BEST way for me to get straight back into single life and love every second of it. If you haven't been to Fringe before, I quite honestly couldn't recommend it enough. You can see my Fringe VLOG here.
Going Back to Nantucket, Massachusetts
Nantucket will always hold an extra special place in my heart, and to be brutally honest, it's hard to explain why and even harder to try and put it into words, but it's a place I love SO much I can't even put my finger on why. Maybe it's the slower pace of just getting in a 4x4 and driving everywhere listening to shitty 90s indie rock because that's all the local station will play, or maybe it's the fact that the Pizza place is also a sushi restaurant and a fishmongers and a tyre shop in some sort of Weird Al's Pancake World real life way. Maybe it's because I can sit on a picturesque empty beach and just write without any distractions at all, or maybe it's because it's the first place I really fell in love. Either way, it holds a crazy important place in my heart and failed romance or not, I am so grateful I got to spend 2 blissful weeks there this year.
Buying My First Designer Bag
There's something hilarious about going from a really deep point to a super shallow one but here we go. GUYS I BOUGHT AN EXPENSIVE THING AND IT MADE ME V HAPPY. After spending the last few years saving for visas and lawyer costs in Australia, it was such a treat for me to be able to splurge on something just for me, and something I'd wanted to treat myself to for the longest time. Buying a Gucci Marmont made me all kinds of happy, it's my most worn bag without fail, it's the absolute perfect date night bag because it makes you look a bit like "Oh hey don't you wanna date me? Look how fancy pants I am!" It's also just so bloody pretty and goes with absolutely everything. Anyway vain, shallow, lol look at me moment ever, but buying my first designer piece as a gal that grew up on a council estate and wearing hand me down everything was a big moment for me, and one I'll kinda cherish.
Getting put on Anti Depressants
OH HI LET'S OVERSHARE SOME PERSONAL SHIT SHALL WE? If you follow me on social media you'll know that I'm pretty no filter when it comes to my mental health. I'm not ashamed of what I've been through with it, and the fact that it's an ongoing struggle. If I can help one person, or make them feel slightly less alone, I'll feel great about that. Finally getting diagnosed with depression was a moment for me, it was a moment that I understood there was a reason why I felt and acted the way I did, and getting put on Citalopram has been a journey. There have been times where I'm like "lol I'm happy I don't need these pills anymore" and then wonder why a week later I'm crying on the floor because my cheese has gone mouldy. There have been times where the crippling nausea has made me truly hate life and I've felt like I'm high for 82% of my day, but the fact is, that for most of the time I've taken Citalopram, I've felt great. I haven't had intense highs or lows, I haven't cried about things that shouldn't make you cry, and I haven't had dark thoughts. Everyone's mental health story is different, and this is what works for me, make of that what you will.
Making Blogger Pals
Moving back to the UK was a big old move, and I'm lucky I've got a great few friends that I was able to come back to. Growing my blog and social media channels has been something that I'm so, so proud of this year and I can't wait to build on that in 2018, but without a doubt the best thing that blogging has given me this year is a few people that have made my world a little less alone and really proven themselves and people that aren't only the friends I can go to, to bitch about brands not paying invoices on time and how I can't get this flatlay to look how I want and how much I hate the instagram algorithm, but the ones I go to for the real, personal shit. You know who you are and you're kinda all sorts of fab.
Knowing where I want my content to go in 2018
I feel like 2017 has seen my content kinda float around, it was a year where I experimented a little to see what I wanted this space to really focus on. When I look back and see what has performed well and what hasn't I get all sorts of inspired because I know exactly what you guys want to see in 2018, and I can't wait to bring it to you. Working with the ever so talented Kaye Ford has seen my fashion content soar, and that's something I can't wait to bring more of to Millie Ryan dot com next year. My lifestyle / dating / personal posts still seem to do better than anything so don't worry the oversharing will continue well into 2018 and beyond.
So there we have it, 2017 you haven't been easy but all in all you've been a star of a year and I can't wait to see what 2018 brings because I'm sensing it's gonna be a good'un.